Changing my relationship with my phone in 2025

I want a light and clear mind

A bit of background

I have long been skeptical of my relationship with my phone, and have quit Reddit a few times. Expecting our son in 2023 was a fulcrum point. My wife and I read up on screen time in children and learned details of the destructive force social media can have on self-worth and attention span. We recognized this in ourselves. 

I wanted to model a healthy relationship with screens for my son, and I wanted to enjoy the benefits for myself too.

During paternity leave summer of 2024 I read How to Break up with Your Phone. I learned some troubling science supporting my own experience. Scrolling on "slot machine apps" pumps your body full of dopamine and cortisol. You both pacify and stress yourself.

For the last two weeks of paternity leave I was fully detoxed from my phone. It was on a charger when unused. I used it standing by the charger for messaging friends or changing podcasts only.

My mind felt light and clear. I looked forward to being alone to think. I felt no particular pressure to have productive or "deep" thoughts. My mind felt free. I was more present than I have been in years. My off-screen life felt more vibrant and real than my screen life.

I want that again!

Desired relationship

Do's

• Use camera, messaging, reminders, and budget app
• Look up things to unblock real-life activities
• Leave phone on charger when not in use
  • I am torn on this one. I want to be able to take impromptu pictures. But I may need to do this for a while to reinforce the new mindset and habits.

 
Don'ts

• Check phone between activities (e.g., leaving a room)
• Use phone in bathroom
• Online shopping just to browse
• Looking up random stuff
  • I do this to pacify boredom or to feel "productive". Often researching a work-related topic. Instead: It's okay to just wonder about something and look it up later if you still care!
• Social media

Plan

• 2025 January: No phone in bathroom or between activities
• 2025 February: No social media or online shopping
• 2025 March: No looking up random stuff
• 2025 April: Leave phone on charger when not in use